By Trendsetter Tribune 
Your experience of returning to Sydney after decades in the U.S. is a textbook example of “reverse culture shock” (or re-entry shock). It is a phenomenon where the home you remembered has changed—but more importantly, you have changed in ways that make the familiar feel alien.
Here is a breakdown of why this transition is so jarring and some strategies for those navigating a similar “homecoming.”
The Anatomy of Reverse Culture Shock
Psychologists often describe re-entry as more difficult than moving away because it is unanticipated. When you move to a new country, you expect to be a foreigner; when you move home, you expect to fit in.
- The “High School” Litmus Test: In Sydney, the question “Where did you go to high school?” is a social shorthand for placing someone within a specific network or class. For a returnee, this immediately signals your “otherness,” reinforcing the feeling of being a foreigner in your own land.
- The Value Gap: You noted the loss of convenience and customer service. Coming from a “convenience culture” like the U.S. to the more relaxed (and expensive) pace of Australia often feels like a regression rather than a relaxation.
- The “Frozen” Memory: We often carry a “snapshot” of home from the moment we left. Returning as an adult reveals that the city has moved on, and your old general knowledge is now obsolete.
Strategies for Rediscovering “Home”
As you discovered, the key is to stop trying to “reclaim” your old life and start “building” a new one.
| Strategy | How it Helps |
| Become a Tourist | Explore your city as if you’ve never been there. Visit the museums, try the “typical” activities, and learn the new local history to build fresh context. |
| Seek “Third Culture” Friends | Connect with other expats or “repats.” They understand the specific grief of missing a place that no longer exists for you. |
| Acknowledge the “American” You | Don’t try to scrub away your U.S. identity. Your appreciation for Mexican food and 24/7 coffee is part of your unique perspective. |
| Lower the Bar | Acceptance comes when you stop comparing the “Best of America” to the “Worst of Australia.” Each country has trade-offs. |
“You Can Never Go Home Again”
This famous sentiment doesn’t mean you can’t live in your hometown; it means the version of you that lived there before is gone. Your 25 years in the U.S. added layers to your identity that can’t be peeled back. By starting from scratch, you aren’t “going home”—you are moving to a new city that just happens to have familiar landmarks.